Being One

Almost 15 years ago I married a man that is better than any I have ever dreamed of.  He was perfect for me, and still is.  We met at school, got engaged about six months later, and then married six months after that.  You can read the full story here. We had almost known each other for a year.  Some would say this was crazy, they may have thought we were too young (I had just turned twenty).  I say we were young, yes.  We were naive, perhaps, but we were full of faith, love, and hope--all of which creates the perfect beginning.

 

What creates an enduring love and a unifying marriage?   "By divine design, men and women are intended to progress together toward perfection and a fullness of glory. Because of their distinctive temperaments and capacities, males and females each bring to a marriage relationship unique perspectives and experiences.  The man and woman contribute differently but equally to a oneness and a unity that can be achieved in no other way" (David A. Bednar, Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan, Ensign, June 2006).

When we marry, we each bring certain gifts, abilities, and more.  I have found in my marriage that my husband fits me so well.  He helps put strength into the areas I have problems with, and I feel that perhaps I do the same for him.  In a sense, together we complete each other.  Sheri L. Dew said, "Our Father knew exactly what He was doing when He created us. He made us enough alike to love each other, but enough different that we would need to unite our strengths and stewardships to create a whole. Neither man nor woman is perfect or complete without the other. Thus, no marriage or family ... is likely to reach its full potential until husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, men and women work together in unity of purpose, respecting and relying upon each other’s strengths."

What I am thankful for in my husband is that he doesn't let my troubles and weaknesses blur his love for me.  He continues to treat me like the queen he married all those years ago, even after I have exposed so many of my failings to him.  He continues to amaze me with his thoughtfulness and strength.  He continues to show me that he loves me and that we are in this together.

A Mother's Day creation for me.

 We read Jesus reply to the Pharisees about marriage, "And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matt 19:5).

We sacrifice for each other.  As marriage partners, we both give our 100%.  It isn't a 50/50 effort, it is our full effort.  We serve with no thought of what is in it for us.  We put God first.  David A. Bednar also taught that "the ultimate blessings of love and happiness are obtained through the covenant relationship of eternal marriage.  The Lord Jesus Christ is the focal point in a covenant marriage relationship.  ... The Savior is positioned at the apex of [a] triangle, with a woman at the base of one corner and a man at the base of the other corner.  ... [As the man and woman] individually and steadily "come unto Christ" and strive to be "perfected in Him" (Moroni 10:32), through the Redeemer the man and the woman come closer together."

Through this kind of living, the man and the woman can become one.  Unified in all things.  Their family will be strengthened, and the children will understand and know the love of God better because of the example of the parents.

Importance of Family

There are a lot of questions in the news in regards to family; what a family is, looks like, etc.  Why is this such a big issue.  In "The Divine Institution of Marriage", an LDS commentary from January 2014, a very common question is stated, "It won't affect you marriage, so why should you care?"

Why should we care how the world and society view marriage and family, and how does it affect those of us who choose to live the traditional way?

First of all, lets talk about what my family believes and lives.  On 23 September 1995, President Gordon B. Hinckley presented and read "The Family: A Proclamation to the World."

 

This proclamation given to the world states what we believe about an individual, a marriage, and a family.  We believe that we lived in Heaven before we came to earth; we were "spiritually born" to Heavenly Parents. We grew and were taught the way of God.  We learned the plan our Father had for us to become like him.  In this plan we learned about earth and the need to receive a physical body to progress.

The plan is to come to earth, which all of us have done, and be born to a father and a mother and live in a family.  This familial experience both as a child and then later as a parent, teaches us lesson that help us learn and progress to our eternal goal: to be like our Heavenly Parents.  Lorenzo Snow taught that "As man now is, God once was: As God now is, man may be."  This is our goal.  Just as in this life we grow to become a responsible adult just as our parents, our goal is to learn to become like our Heavenly Parents.

Now I want to address the confusion of our day.  Elder D. Todd Christofferson said,

"A family built on the marriage of a man and woman supplies the best setting for God's plan to thrive ... A critical mass of families built on such marriages is vital for societies to survive and flourish.  That is why communities and nations generally have encouraged and protected marriage and the family as privileged institutions.  It has never been just about the love and happiness of adults."

I want to emphasize the last sentence, "It has never been just about the love and happiness of adults."  We live in a "me generation."  Society encourages us to think mainly of self and what self wants.  We see this in children, young adults, middle aged, and even elderly; it is not one age group, it is widespread selfishness.  This is not how the family functions.  The family has need of hard work, self-sacrifice, devotion, unconditional love.

Referring back to "The Divine Institution of Marriage," how do the trends we see affect society?  There is an increase in the likelihood that children will not be able to "form a clear gender identity;" and their "social identity, gender development, and moral character" will erode as well.  "Strong, independent families are vital for political and religious freedom."

The Prophets have warned "that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.
We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society." (The Family: A Proclamation to the World)

Even if you don't believe in modern day prophets as I do, there has to be an agreement that the best place to raise children is in the stable home of a family, where a mother and father love and teach their children.  I take the words of the above mentioned proclamation as prophetic and true.  It isn't just a message to the Mormons, it is a message and warning to the world.  We need families.  We need families that are strong and true to each other, who hold fast together through the tough times, who sacrifice for each other.  This is something worth protecting.

As a Whale in the Sea

Brother of Jared seeing the hand of the Lord

 

 This week I am reading in the book of Ether in the Book of Mormon.  As I read into the second chapter something stood out to me.  This man called "the brother of Jared" is praying so much to the Lord about all that they should do during this uncertain time of change during the time of the tower of Babel.  This brother has built boats as he was commanded so that they can cross the ocean; however the boats are completely sealed and they have no light inside.  When this man prays, the Lord asks what he (the man) thinks should be done.

Then I came across this verse:

For behold, ye shall be as a whale in the midst of the sea; for the mountain waves shall dash upon you. Nevertheless, I will bring you up again out of the depths of the sea.

Behold, I prepare you against these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come.

Ether 2:24-25 

 My mind and heart were struck when I realized how much this is like life.  Life is often like the ocean, some days are calm and beautiful and others are raging and dangerous.  Yet, the Lord has promised us that He will "bring [us] up again out of the depths."  He has also said that He has "prepared [us] against these things.  I felt the Spirit teach me that I have been prepared, and that if I have faith and turn to the Lord, I can make it through the trials of life.

Elder Wirthlin quote President Faust:

President James E. Faust explained that “into every life there come the painful, despairing days of adversity and buffeting. There seems to be a full measure of anguish, sorrow, and often heartbreak for everyone, including those who earnestly seek to do right and be faithful.”  And then the suggestion that the adversity we experience allows our souls to become like clay in the hands of the Master. “Trials and adversity,” President Faust taught, “can be preparatory to becoming born anew.”

-Finding a Safe Harbor

 He also teaches that a butterfly gains its strength to fly as it struggles to free itself from its chrysalis.  He teaches us that these trials we pass through help us in obtaining our divine potential.  So in thinking about this analogy to the brother of Jared and his family being in these boats that are tossed about on the see, we may be tossed about in the sea of life.  We may be buried in the depths like a whale.  Yet, as we trust in the Lord, He will bring us out on top.  He will help us have the means to conquer the storms of life.

I know that this is true as I have felt it through out many of my own trials in life.  That isn't to everything is smooth sailing for me, just that I know that God is watching over me and helping me a long.  He is guiding my life just as he guided the ships of the brother of Jared.  As I continue to turn to the Lord, I too will find the "land of promise" and live with God again.

Hearts Turning

When I was a child I saw and listened to my grandmother tell stories about my ancestors and their lives.  She would share relatives she had discovered in her searching.  I love learning about these long ago family members and realizing that they lived, struggled, and endured.  What has given me courage through my own struggles is to remember them and how they were able to press forward through their trials and find peace and joy.

Grandma often told me stories about my Grandpa and his mission in England.

I was reading in 3 Nephi 25 and came across one of my favorite verses, "Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord; And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse."  (verses 5 and 6)  This can also be found in Malachi 4:5-6.  Christ shared these words with the Nephites since they didn't have the teachings of Malachi.

Why was it so important for the Lord to share these prophecies with the Nephites?  Because the power that comes to all of us when we are sealed to our families from generation to generation is so important in the gospel of Jesus Christ.  When I was little, people doing family history was something it seemed only the grandparents were doing.  How amazing to see that the hearts of the children are turning more and more to their fathers as the age of family history searchers become younger and younger.

We don't have to go to a family history library, or even travel the world to find our ancestors.  There is so much we can find right at our fingertips, through the computer.  I am so thankful for Family Search where I can look up and find more of my ancestors.  The more I know about them, the more they feel like friends that are waiting for us on the other side of the veil.

As I find the names of my family that are now passed, I can do a vicarious work for them in the temple so that they may have those ordinances which are necessary for their salvation.  When we get to Heaven I hope to see all my family there with me; not one empty chair.  I am thankful for all my family.  There is great peace and power that flows from the temple.  Here is a song that captures a lot of how I feel about the temple:

 

Each temple is a bit of Heaven here on earth where we can feel God's love for us and leave the cares of the world behind for a moment in time.  We can gain an eternal perspective that can strengthen us through our trials.  As we leave the temple we take a bit of that power with us to go forward with the tasks of life.

I know the temple is the "House of the Lord" because the Spirit touched my heart and I know it is a holy place.