God loves Broken Me

This year has brought about many challenges in our family; financially, physically, mentally, and spiritually.  There have been many moments when we have felt broken and wonder how we can go on, and yet it is in the moments when we are brought so low that we can finally pause to ponder what is most important.

As I went to sleep last night I had this song by Kenneth Cope., that God loves Broken me and all of us.

It is when we are broken that the Lord can make something of us.  I was reading my scriptures in a section about Alma, the high priest over the Nephites, and his companion Amulek, who was a man that had a vision to help Alma and so was converted and became Alma's companion to testify to the people of Amonihah.  These people were in a serious condition of wickedness and ended up doing terrible things to all those that believed the gospel, even to the family of Amulek.

This story stands out to me right now as I ponder about being broken because Amulek was promised his life would be blessed for helping the prophet, and yet in the end he ended up losing all his worldly possessions and even his family and friends.  I have had to stop and ponder what does it mean that Amulek and his household were blessed.  Does that mean that they would live a trouble-free life?  Obviously not, since they ended up enduring terrible trials.  Does that mean they would be blessed with great worldly possessions?  They already were very wealthy and then ended up losing all of it.  So what does it mean to be blessed?  I feel the answer is deeper than anything temporal we may want, it is a spiritual matter.  Amuleks household was blessed; they received the gospel and repented.  Even if they may have lost their lives, they had been blessed to have died in righteousness and thus enabled to return to their Father in Heaven.

How this this make me feel?  Well, I don't want to suffer as Amulek did, but I don't think that will be required of me and so what is required of me is to do my best to continue to live a righteous life even in the face of trials and afflictions.

Though I may feel broken at times, I can turn to God and he will strengthen me.  My trials may not go away, just as Amulek still had to endure his trials and many other faithful disciples of Christ have suffered; but the Savior enables us to endure and to become someone stronger because of the trials we pass through.

Master, with anguish of spirit

I bow in my grief today.

The depths of my sad heart are troubled.

Oh, waken and save, I pray!

Torrents of sin and of anguish

Sweep o'er my sinking soul,

And I perish! I perish! dear Master.

Oh, hasten and take control!

The winds and the waves shall obey thy will:

Peace, be still.

Whether the wrath of the storm-tossed sea

Or demons or men or whatever it be,

No waters can swallow the ship where lies

The Master of ocean and earth and skies.

They all shall sweetly obey thy will:

Peace, be still; peace, be still.

They all shall sweetly obey thy will:

Peace, peace, be still.

 

Master, the terror is over.

The elements sweetly rest.

Earth's sun in the calm lake is mirrored,

And heaven's within my breast.

Linger, O blessed Redeemer!

Leave me alone no more,

And with joy I shall make the blest harbor

And rest on the blissful shore.

 

 Master, the Tempest is Raging

 Mary Ann Baker, ca. 1831-1921