Insights on the Family: Marriage--An Equal Partnership

"Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children."

-The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Research has shown that marriage is the healthiest way to find happiness. In Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, Alan J. Hawkins and Elizabeth VanBerghe share evidence that marriage benefits far outweigh any other life-style. They share that "married people are generally happier, ... with greater life satisfaction, lower risk for depression, and greater economic stability, all contributing to better mental health."

South African couple found happiness in their marriage.
 (pic courtesy of www.lds.org)

Critics might share information on all the dysfunctional families and marriages, and the high number of divorces, as well as the high number of people being treated for mental health problems. We can't deny that life has its troubles, but we also can deny that there have been many studies that show benefits of being married. Here are a few that Hawkins and VanGerghe share:

• Marital status at 48 strongly predicts chances of surviving to ages 65.
• Divorced men experience health risks akin to smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.
• Divorced women risk of dying prematurely decreases with the duration of her marriage.
• Young people that married immediately have reduced depressive symptoms and higher life satisfaction.
• Men have lower panic disorders.
• Women have lower substance abuse.
• Both have higher levels of social integration and emotional support.
• Married people are generally better off financially.
• Well satisfied with their physical relationship.

John Gottman, a very influential marriage researcher, shares that real romance is "fueled by a humdrum approach to staying connected." What Gottman means is that when couples connect with each other in the day to day tasks of life in a caring a positive way, their love deepens for one another.

In this little video clip, we glimpse into the lives of the Puentes family. We can see that love has deepened and grown for them not from some extravagant trip or gift, but from the fact that they are making a simple dinner together. Both the husband and wife work together to prepare and cook a meal. This positive experience is over-flowing into the lives of their children creating a very strong and happy home.

Valerie Hudson and Richar Miller wrote about Equal Partnership Between Men and Women in Families in chapter 4 of Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. They said that research shows that having an equal partnership leads to "happier relationships, better individual well-being, more effective parenting practices, and better-functioning children." An important reason for all these benefits, Husdson and Miller state, is because having greater satisfaction leads to "less negative interactions and more positive interactions."

In my reading and learning I have come to see that marriage is the best institution on earth. I can see in my own life how much I have benefited from having my amazing husband. He has been such a support to me in all the things I have endeavored to do. Together we have had fun adventures as well as hard times. When we do it together the experience is so powerful in building our relationship and our family.

Marriage is a divine institution, and it is the way God wants our families to be created. If we follow this knowledge and command I know that our lives can be blessed. Husband and wives should work together as equal partners in caring for each other and for their children. The marital relationship can only be a happy healthy one when we treat our spouse with love and respect.