Insights on the Family: The Healing Power of Forgiveness

"I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men" (Doctrine and Covenants 64:10).

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Forgiveness and Repentance go hand-in-hand. We all make mistakes, some larger and some smaller, and we are all required to forgive and repent. It is good to be forgiven, but it is most important to be forgiving. Having a forgiving heart is healthier physically and emotionally, and it also builds stronger relationships.

Elaine Walton and Hilary Hendricks shared that "for victims of serious offenses, Elder Richard G. Scott recommended forgiveness--although it is 'most difficult'-- [it is] 'the sure path to peace and healing.' And President Gordon B. Hinckley emphasized that forgiveness 'may be the greatest virtue on earth, and certainly the most needed'" (Successful Marriages and Families, p. 203).

Chris Williams shares his experience with forgiveness and the power it has not only in his own healing, but in the healing of everyone else involved. I love his concluding words, "I'm grateful that God allows tragedies and trials to occur in our lives. Not because they're easy or because they're desired, but because they help us love." I think this captures the essence of forgiveness, we become more capable of love when we forgive. We are able to see others as God sees them, and we are able to understand better God's love for us. We are all in need of forgiveness, and thankfully, through the atonement of Jesus Christ, we are all capable of forgiveness.

In the book I have referenced, the author shares five steps that Everett Worthington has found as a path of forgiveness:

1. Recall the hurt. This is acknowledging that something was wrong.
2. Empathize. This is being able to see the perspective of others.
3. Offer the altruistic gift of forgiveness.
4. Commit publicly to forgive. Sharing the commitment to forgive with others makes it more likely to happen.
5. Hold on to forgiveness. This means moving forward. Don't let the pain of the past haunt the future.

"Today Is the Day to Forgive. Knowing how imperfect we are, surely we can extend healing forgiveness to those we love" (Happiness in Family Life).

Forgiveness is something that comes from within and happens inside of the forgiver. Again the book I am reading  says, "forgiveness is for the benefit of the victim." It is the only way to truly be free of the burdens of resentment, anger, blame, and other negative emotions. When we clear those feelings away, we are better able to love, feel empathy, humility, and other feelings that make us better people.

Today is the day we need to forgive. So when someone in our family irritates us, let us be forgiving. When we are out and about on the town, be forgiving. It is something we can do everywhere.