Insights on the Family: The Importance of Fathers

"Honour thy father and thy mother."

Exodus 20:12

I am very thankful for the fathers and men in my life. I have been blessed with my own good father, a good father-in-law, good brothers (and in-laws), and most of all a good husband. All these men have great influence in not only my life but in the lives of my children.

Clark has taught our children the excitement of exploring.

Through my husband my children have learned so many things. They have learned how to cook, clean, bake, and shop. Seriously, he is better at all these things than me and has done a great job in helping our children learn these skills. He has also helped them learn that life can be fun through the great humor he brings into our home. There is great power and influence in just having a father home and involved in his family's life. His influence and presence brings about security and confidence in the children.

In a book I am reading, "Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives," John Snarey is quoted as saying, "Good fathering, it seems, really does matter. It matters over a long time, over a lifetime, and even over generations" (pg. 141). He says this because there is so much opposition that has come in the face of fathers, questioning whether the presence of a father really matters. This same book shares that fatherhood is generative work.  This means that fathers teach through "caring activities that nurture relationships, foster growth, and enable the transmission of values between generations."

My own father has been a great example to me of doing generative work. As his children grew to adulthood and left home, he started sending out a weekly emails to them (and eventually to spouses and grandchildren as they entered the scene). He has passed on his faith and testimony, he has taught us values and history, and he has helped keep the family connected to each other. He has been an example of working hard as well as continued learning through reading and study. He has made himself available to his children and grandchildren through being present and listening to them. There have been many times (sometimes multiple times a week) where I will turn to my dad to ask him questions and share what is going on in my life--and he listens and responds with love and patience. This nonjudgmental love and concern for me and for my family has given us something more powerful than anything that could be bought. He has passed onto us something that is spiritual, something that will bless our family for generations--just as his own father did.

My book concludes with quoting President James E. Faust's "observation that the bonds of parents and children are revealed 'in family relationships, in attributes and virtues developed in a nurturing environment, and in loving service.' [The text then summarizes that] As fathers practice these essential principles [of being a spiritual leader, partnering with his wife and others in the child's life, being present, providing and protecting] in their lives and relationships, they fulfill their own potential and guide the rising generation toward achieving the divine potential that resides in each of us as 'a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents.'"

The importance of fathers in the lives of their families cannot be measured. I know my family and my own life would not be the same without these men in my life. Their influence, example, and power they bring with them has great shaping abilities that make my children and me the people we are. This influence goes on for generations.

Let the fathers in your life know how much you loved them and appreciate them. Not just on Father's Day, but always.