Softened Heart

Here is a funny and yet sad story for you:


I was sitting on our couch feeding Benjamin when I saw a flash out of the corner of my eye. I wondered what it was, but then imagined that it was a car driving by. But then I saw it again, and yet I still hadn't noticed exactly where it came from. By the third time I had narrowed it down to the fact that it must be coming from my room.


Since I couldn't get up and find out what it was, I called Clark to do the duty. He went in and found David playing with our camera and then we scolded him for doing something he knew he shouldn't have been doing.


Well, after a few hours, I finally had a chance to see what he had been doing with the camera. This is what he was doing:

When I saw these pictures my heart melted as I saw the love he has for his "Kitty" as he likes to call her. I was sad that we got so upset with him and didn't even see what he was trying to do. Kitty is his sweet little "kitten" (we all know it is a bear, but he calls it his kitty anyway). She is his friend and is real to him. I wanted to hug David and let him know I love him. We decided to print his pictures off on a paper and hang them next to his bed. He is very happy and proud of his pictures and loves his little Kitty. As I was giving him a hug tonight he said, "I am good at taking pictures, Mommy. I will take a picture of you and Benjamin and you will have really big smiles." What a sweet boy I have.

Here is a picture of our little Benjamin. He is growing so much and giving us smiles too! He brings joy to all of us. Rebecca now has named her little baby doll "Benjamin" too. I know I have read that some people worry that they won't be able to love the children they have after their first child, but I think all the younger siblings get more love since there are more people in the family to love them! Families are fun!

Apart from the World

San Antonio Sealing Room

Samoa Temple Celestial Room

On Saturday, I had the chance to attend the temple. Clark and I try to keep up a once a month visit. This month was more complicated with having a baby, and Clark had already gone when he went to his conference in San Diego. I hope that some day I might be able to go to the San Diego Temple since his descriptions are so beautiful!

I had my chance to go on Saturday. Since Benjamin is still so small, I felt it would be too hard on him (and the others since they have to find somewhere to go and wait in the heat) to do a longer session. I chose to do Sealings.

After I dressed in my temple clothing I went to the room where the sealing are done. I got there just in time for the sealer to say he had to leave to go perform a sealing for a couple that was getting married that day, and then he invited me and the others to wait in the Celestial room for the next sealer to arrive (which was in about 30 minutes). I was a little sad by this since I was in a bit of a hurry having a one month old outside waiting for me. Then as I sat in the Celestial room, I was thankful to be forced into taking my time and enjoying the peace of the temple. I am usually in a hurry since I know my family is outside waiting. We drive down to San Antonio (~90 miles) and make it a fun family day, and that is why my family is outside waiting.

From this experience I was able to ponder all that I am blessed with and how my Heavenly Father cares for my family and me. He does love us and is there. One thing I have loved hearing Elder Bednar say in the many times I have had a chance to hear him is, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear; he who has eyes to see, let him see." If we take the time to see what Heavenly Father is doing in our lives, we will see he has helped us through everything. It is through His Son that he can bless us. Christ lifts us when we are too weak, takes our hand and leads us through when we can't find the way, strengthens us and loves us. There are so many ways we are bless and I am thankful to Him that I was able to have that time to ponder on my blessings.

The temple is a special place apart from the world, it helps us see who we are and what our potential is. We have the chance to be like our Father in Heaven.

"Par for the Course"

I remember a few years back when I attended a baby blessing of one of my siblings (it was Christmas Day). I was very excited to be there and hear the wonderful blessing, but was very disappointed when I struggled with my toddler through the entire blessing and pretty much missed everything that was said. I also worried that the commotion had been a bother to all close by.



Feeling emotionally let down, I started to cry. I tried to hide it, but eventually those near me could tell. My Grandma was sitting closest to me and must have felt prompted to lean over and put her arm around me. In that instant I felt the strength of all her years as a mother pour over to me and reassure me that the situation was okay. She leaned over and with her wisdom of years gone by said, "It's all par for the course".



I now struggle again with disappointments with myself off and on at how I see my progression. As I was writing in my journal and thinking about how the day had not gone so well, I remembered my high school days when I thought life was more "simple". I thought how easy it was to discern between what I should and shouldn't be doing. How it was easy to be friendly to everyone. I felt happy and confident in where I was going.



Thinking of how things are now, a little more complicated with a family. I find it hard to realize what is a the best course to take in teaching my children and helping them and how I can strengthen myself along the way. My Grandma's words come back into my head, "It's all par for the course." I realize that we are just at a stretching phase right now and that if we press forward doing what we know to be right and trusting in our Father in Heaven, we will find ourselves strengthened and a better person once we have made it through our trials.



I am thankful to my Grandma for following a prompting to help me in a moment of despair. I am thankful to a loving Father in Heaven for helping me even when I feel I am not succeeding. I know what I know and I will stick to it, even when I feel down. That is: Jesus Christ is my Savior and will take my hand and lead me through my dark hours. Heavenly Father does love me as his daughter and wants me to succeed. The Holy Ghost is there to guide me. I can read and study the scriptures to find answers, and listen to the prophet.

Click Here to listen to one of my favorite songs.

Quirks

I was invited to share a few quirks I have:

1- I think I am the slowest person around. I do everything very slowly, but I try to do it the best I can.

2- I just don't like cooking. I took a cooking class in high school and loved it, but I am not a multitasker and with children I just don't enjoy cooking.

3- I tend to shut down if my house isn't as clean as I want it. I love having things in order. I am getting better at just letting somethings go (such as toys) but after a few hours I have to get it cleaned up.

4- I am somewhat a loner. I love being around people but I am not very good at being social; I always tend to feel like I am out of place in social situations. I also like to have quiet alone time.

5- I always feel the need to be 10 minutes early to everything. If I make it on-time I feel late. This gets a little difficult when trying to calculate how long it takes to get the children going as well... I find myself late to a lot of things now.

6- Lastly, I think parenthood has brought out a lot of quirks in me. I know that parenthood is a learning process, but I wish I didn't find myself not as patient as I thought I once was...


We are doing well in our adjusting to a third child. The only really hard part is how very tired I am! Benjamin is now 3 weeks old. Time is already flying by. My parents have now gone home and Clark is back at research work... I am now learning ways to get through this phase of life and no time.

Like I said there isn't a lot of time and I need to keep this short. Until later...

Loving Heart

You rock a sobbing child without wondering if today’s world is passing you by, because you know you hold tomorrow tightly in your arms.

-Neal A. Maxwell

This quote has been on my mind a lot lately. As the hours of the night pass away and I yearn for some sleep, this quote is one that reminds me of what I am doing. I am also reminded that this moment in time will be so short and to cherish each moment with this sweet baby because he won't be a baby for long.

"All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good"

-Doctrine and Covenants 122:7

I have loved seeing the love and tenderness grow in David. He has such a concern for Benjamin and is always there for him. He is learning what being a big brother is all about.

We are all learning.